Confidently Yours – 50 Never Looked So Good

I am leaving this whole blog to this incredible woman! 

This is a MUST  read!

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“We all have our insecurities.  Whether they are about our looks as a whole in general or something in particular we don’t like about ourselves; whether we think we brought them on through our childhood, or having had gone through a traumatic experience – we all live with something that doesn’t quite add up to what one would call confident.  

I believe that being confident means many different things for everyone.  And for me, raising three girls, I felt it important they learn to be confident as young women growing up.  It was my hope to instill confidence in all of them from an early age, however, not coming from an overly confident background – I’m not sure I was successful, as I didn’t know how to be confident nor did I ever show it myself.  I remember feeling confident at some level as kid but I didn’t know where it went or why it left. 

The rebuilding of my confidence came not when I regained the courage to do things that I always thought were “out of reach” like, doing things alone, starting college classes, starting my own start-up businesses, or having sexy photos of myself taken, but WHEN I realized it was now okay for women to do them. 

The older generations were told that to be a good woman – we needed to get married, have children, stay home and cook and clean and be thankful that we had a roof over our heads and a man to provide those things for us.  Also, to stay covered up from head to toe and to look “presentable” at a moment’s notice.  Oh and heaven forbid we even LOOK at ourselves naked, let alone LIKE the way we look naked – or feel SEXY or LIKE the fact that we do feel sexy!

Granted it is now the twenty-first century and a LOT of things have changed in the world.  And I am talking like I was raised in the 50’s, I was not.  But instead I am a 50 year old woman who was raised by a baby boomer mother with little to no self-esteem and moreover, very little self-confidence.  I can remember in my teens feeling ashamed of my body because my elders would laugh or joke about the clothing I wanted to wear or when I was around boys and they whistled or commented on my appearance.  I was called names in school by other girls because I tried being trendy and I thought I looked good and by the boys because I was friendly and happy, so I was called a flirt and a slut by many.  I started feeling like there was something wrong with me because everyone treated me differently than the way I expected and it all revolved around the way I looked. It never occurred to me that it was because I might have been beautiful and they were jealous.  No one ever told me I was beautiful.  Again, in my family, it just wasn’t done.

Of course I still have some insecurities and they shine through every now and again.  As women we all will have them pop up here and there.  When I first saw the work that Lindsay and Erin are doing my original thoughts were – “Oh, yeah, they are fabulous but I could NEVER do that – I’m too fat – If I looked like that I would – I’m too shy – My husband won’t approve – What will others think of me – What if so and so see them?” Again, I started letting my stories of my patterned past behavior get the better of me – momentarily.  It’s OKAY.  It’s what we do with those thoughts and insecurities that is important.   I choose to turn them around and find opportunities to prove all those old stories wrong!  I booked my first session with Lindsay and then another.  I used Lindsay’s and Erin’s work as inspiration to make me do what I thought I needed to do to wipe those insecurities away.  I used the dates as a GOAL dates.  I started taking better care of myself physically, mentally and more importantly – emotionally.  What is the purpose of doing this shoot, I kept asking myself.  It wasn’t to boast about my great body to everyone – it was to let myself know that it is OKAY to feel great about the body I have – regardless of what I thought I looked like.  It was to face the fear that stared down at me my whole life.  It is to prove to my girls, my husband and more importantly to myself that I am beautiful and it is okay to feel that way, look that way and have others see it too!

This is why for my second shoot with LRP I signed the release!  Let people see who I am.  Let others judge me for what I’m doing – I don’t care.  I do feel beautiful and I’m proud of who I am!  I don’t have to please everyone – just myself – thank you very much!

I’m proud that I am still the wife of my high school sweetheart after 31 years! (I believe he is proud too! – Especially after seeing this second set of photos – J )

I’m proud that I am a mother of 3 girls! All of whom are now confident, competent, loving and strong women.  I want them to see me as a proud, strong, confident momma who will do anything and go to any lengths to make sure they are happy and I want them to know, that I too, am happy!

I’m proud that I’m a grandmother of the most gorgeous little girl in the world and I want her to see these pictures of me someday and be proud of me for having them taken.  I want her to feel as beautiful and confident as anyone.  And babies learn what they see!

I’m proud that I am an entrepreneur and a business owner and I don’t care if any of my clients/customers see these pictures.  Maybe just maybe I will be taken more seriously because my confidence is truly glowing!

And I’m proud that I am a small town farmer girl that comes from a conservative community.  Let the neighbors talk!

So, some last minute advice to the LRP followers who may be of an ‘older’ generation and may not yet be convinced this might be something that is okay to do:  IT IS OKAY!  It will be OKAY!  It’s Okay to show your vulnerability.  It’s okay to show your confidence.  It’s okay to have others see you this way!  Do it if you are scared!  Do it if you are worried!  Do it if you think it’s NOT okay!  Do it if you think OTHERS think it is NOT okay!   Do it if you feel Shy!  Do it if you feel Strong!  Do it if you feel vulnerable!  Do it if you are MAD!  Do it if you are already CONFIDENT! Do it if you are Happy! Do it if you think you don’t need to!  Do it if you think you do!  Do it for YOURSELF!

These two ladies that work with you on this endeavor to make you feel comfortable and they are GREAT at what they do!  They are truly CONFIDENT professionals that know how important this work is and how important it is to you.   Don’t be afraid to explain to them exactly how you feel about yourself, your self-image and what you want out of this experience.  Trust me, they listen, they get you and you won’t be sorry with the end result. 

And my two favorite sayings of the day – straight from my chocolate wrapper – you can’t get any more wisdom than this:  “What are you waiting for?” & “Take a run on the wild side”!   Good Luck!

Confidently yours, Sandy Goyer”