Do Something That Scares You

by | Jan 3, 2018 | Uncategorized

Yesterday, as I was packing up from our morning session, I received a call from a client with an upcoming session. This is not the first, second, or even third time that I have received almost this identical call from a client.

They are freaking out about their upcoming session.

Wondering if they can go through with it, if they can really put themselves out there, if they will look as beautiful as “all of the women I see on your website and facebook.”

My first response to them is that I would be interested what they do for a living if they were not nervous about stripping down (both physically and metaphysically) for a near stranger… it is not a common thing, and acknowledgement of that is huge. I always say that the reason we call this an “experience” is because one of the most empowering parts of it doesn’t stem from me at all, but from you taking that risk, putting yourself out there and showing up.

Once you show up, we pretty much take it from there and all you have to do is sit back, be pampered, drink some pink bubbly if you want, and take direction as I explain everything from where to put your toes, to your fingers, to your chin to your eyelashes, down to coaching your breath for a relaxed and sensual vibe…it really isn’t scary at all.

The scary part is just showing up.

Well…Last night I decided to walk the walk and put myself out there and do something that scares me.

When I was in highschool I was a bonafide theatre nerd. Thespian (troupe 2888 say whhhhatttttt!!?!?) and just the epitome of everything you have ever seen in a theatre kid stereotype. It was my life, it was the air I breathed….and I think I was pretty good at it. I always made a vow that I would never quit the theatre…but the last show I did was almost 4.5 years ago. I let life get away from me, I let ME and the thing I love with such a true part of myself get away from me and it was time to put myself first….BUT I was freaking the fuck out! It had been so long since I had paid attention to that part of myself, since I had read a script, or even considered myself worthy to step in front of people who never let the ball drop.

But you know what? I did it. I SHOWED UP! I auditioned.

It is amazing how liberated I feel after simply showing up! Stepping in the door and realizing all that anxiety was for not! Who cares if I get the role? I watched every audition and there was not one bad choice who read for it. All completely different, beautiful women with different stories and interpretations.

It really made me realize how much that experience helped me relate even to my clients…all this worry about if I will be as good as the other women, if I can be good enough for a role because I am plus size, if I am funny enough, talented enough, worthy enough…all of that was for nothing….because as soon as I showed up, despite my nerves, I was proud and empowered simply for putting myself out there and taking a risk.

Now read below to see how today’s featured #LRPBoudieBeauty put herself out there and did something that scared her:

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“When I was 12 years old I had spine surgery due to severe scoliosis. In two months I had 4 surgeries, the other three not related to my spine. Little did I know how that would affect my life. Once I noticed my awkward shaped body and my scars, all I could do was daydream about me looking and feeling beautiful. Even if I am not thinking of any of that, there are always reminders like pain and discomfort. I do my best to smile each day, be as positive as I can, and ignore what my mirror has to say.

Looking at Lindsay’s amazing work I thought she might be able to pull a miracle off. It took me some time but finally I went ahead and booked a session.

The day of the session I was so nervous, ready to turn around. I don’t like to show my body and I was about to do that. I went in and as soon as Lindsay opened the door I felt comfortable. Her words, compliments, and attitude overall made me forget everything else almost to it’s entirety. There was no pain and no discomfort that I can remember. I was enjoying everything too much. Then there was Erin also doing her magic with make-up. Michaela was amazing as well. All three somehow made me feel like a million bucks. I felt beautiful and sexy, something that never happens.

I walked out of the studio feeling a different person.

I do have to say that Lindsay took a gorgeous picture of my back. I have mixed emotions, from sadness of something that cannot be fixed, to something that help made me who I am now. It might be curvy but, I can walk! One day I will go back to her and ask for a re-take of that beautiful picture. Maybe then I will be strong enough to share it with others.

Lindsay could have not chosen a better name for this, “The Self Love Experience.”

That’s exactly what it is, I walked out of the studio loving myself, my body.

Today, I look at the pictures and I do not think of discomfort, pain, or my flaws, I just feel HAPPY. It’s a dream that lasted a few hours but the memories will last forever. Many thanks to the 3 wonderful women that made all of this possible. Thank you for working your magic in more than one way. The pictures could not be as amazing if it wasn’t your empowerment.” ~ M.

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