I’m In The Pursuit of Happiness

by | May 18, 2016 | Uncategorized

It is always an honor when one of our #LRPBoudieBeauties chooses to share their story with us and with you. This will be Ms. P’s 4th Boudoir shoot with us and the most vulnerable and raw by far.

Ms. P is sharing her journey with you and I truly believe it is one we can all relate to and learn from.


“I was always different; I was the dancer in class that was heavier than the other girls, the student whose name was never on the roster, over weight, and always, blatantly…different. When I realized this, the, naturally, negative connotation left me feeling terrible about myself. I had made the decision, from a young age, that I would never be a model, an actress, or the beautiful performer that all my other companions were. Throughout the years, I compared myself to the beautiful people I grew up next to. For years and years I hadn’t realized how hard of an impression that single decision I had made for myself would manifest a personality for itself. Very quickly into my young adulthood, at the ripe age of 17, I started fighting my own battle depression. My lows got so deep, that I would sleep for 12 hours a day, with ease.

2013; the depression took a hold and my body was starting to react; I was experiencing extreme neurological symptoms that had inflamed due to the stress of fighting through my depression; it was so physically devastating that after 9 months of doctor visits, blood drawn, MRI’s, Cat-scans, and various testing, I was placed on a medication that would devastatingly change my life. Just as I had started to peak into adulthood, I started this medication. Only about two months into my treatment, my family was stricken with the sudden loss of my brother Anthony Joseph, my best friend and brother, on my 21st Birthday.
THIS is where my world began and ended in the same day.
It has been two years since my brother has passed away.
It has been two years since I was on that medication that turned me into someone with hope, into someone who prayed for death, peace, for solace.
Two years after my brothers death, I stand to you; staring the camera in the face, singing for the lights, and dancing for the Gods. Nurturing my body I had led astray, fixing my mistakes, forging my path, and manifesting a new spirit. I stand here, now posing for you, showing you my vulnerabilities, and screaming from the sun, that it is not impossible. That we have more power than we know, that we are loved more than we can feel, and we are more beautiful then what we can see. I come to you now telling you my story, admitting my faults, and seeing my weaknesses.
I come to you with these pictures UN-PHOTOSHOPPED. This is my body. This is my vulnerability. THIS. IS. ME.
I come to you saying, that I am blessed. I am loved. I can change the world. I am human. And I am BEAUTIFUL.”
A Special thank you to The Paper Factory Hotel in Astoria for allowing us to photograph in their gorgeous penthouse!