No Hiding | Saratoga Springs | Albany | New York – Boudoir

 

“Growing up I was always a tomboy. Hanging out with the boys, getting dirty and not caring about how I looked. As I got older though I started to notice that my body was not what society would deem as “beautiful”. I started to hide it under big T-shirt and oversized sweatshirts. In my early 20’s I finally had a boy who paid me some attention but little did I know that he would be the biggest mistake of my life. My insecurities kept me in a relationship with an abusive narcissist for 5 years. When I finally had the courage to leave he had beaten my self esteem down so low with his words it was nonexistent. For years I believed I would never be worth love, I didn’t even love myself so why would someone else. I had been following Lindsay for about 2 years and had tossed around the idea of doing a shoot but would always talk myself out of it. I didn’t believe I would ever look good enough to do one. Finally with my 30th birthday looming this year I decided it was the perfect time to finally do a shoot. When I arrived at the studio my stomach was in knots and I was questioning myself. Am I doing the right thing? Is this going to turn out a disaster? But from the moment I walked through the front door of the studio Lindsay and Natalie were both so welcoming and did everything to let me know I was in a safe place. When we started to take the pictures Lindsay talked me through everything with such care and compassion that all I could think is that she must know how uncomfortable I feel. It was about halfway through my shoot that I realized it was like she could see a goddess in me that I had been unable to see for 30 years. Now thanks to her I finally see that goddess and there’s no way I’m ever going back to that insecure girl who hides under big T-shirts and oversized sweatshirts. “