How many times in your life has someone told you that you are “too” something or other? I have spent my entire life being told that I am “too much.” Too loud, to heavy, too bold, too forward, too happy, too sad, too tired, too excited, did I mention too loud? I get told that one alot…I mean the list goes on and on.
I gotta be honest when I say that it actually took me until I turned 30 myself to finally realize that the only “too” I am, is “too much myself.” Yes, I am loud, I am silly, I am bold, I am forward, I am exhausted, I am excited, I am sad and I am happy all at the same time and for each of these things I listed, I am the exact right amount for me.
I am high in energy and passion, and for some people that might be considered “too much” for them to handle….but for me? I am just the right amount to keep me driving forward.
Learning to be ok with who I am and what makes me tick is a constant work in progress. Just ask our girl Kristen, who is one of our Brand Ambassadors, who I have also known since I was 15, who I also share literally everything in my life with. We spent half of the morning talking yesterday about balance and about when we learned to listen to our inner voices and became ok with the fact that our inner voices are what guide us and drive us and that there comes a time in life when we finally need to stop worry about what anyone else thinks but ourselves. The same goes for expecting too much of people just because we expect something of ourselves.
Who else is like me in life and has high expectations of themselves because they can see their worth and potential and finds that they get dragged down when they see people they love leaving potential on the table? My husband would call this “caring too much”, my mother would call it “expecting too much” and I would call it attempting to be a catalyst. Along with these attempts, comes the need to listen to my voice and be the sole decision maker on if putting so much energy into something is worth it? I am the only one who can decide how much I care, just like I am the only one who can decide how much I don’t care. On the flip side, those I am caring about and expecting things of are the only ones who can decide how much they care and how much they want to put in. You can only offer your energy to someone so many times and have them turn it down before you realize that you are turning into a Martyr and are depleting your own energy to someone who does not want it. Maybe it because it is simply not something they desire, maybe they think I expect too much of them or maybe they think I care too much about things that do not matter to them. Only they can decide what is important in their lives and part of learning to quiet the “too’s” is learning to listen to yourself and others and being aware of when you can become “too much” for someone you care about. I started reading You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero last night and could not have started the book at a more perfect time in my life. Everything in life is about balance. Wanting to help people achieve their dreams and goals and body love only works if you are equally aware and empathetic to where they are in their lives and knowing when it is time to stop pushing, because as much as we don’t want someone telling us that we are “too” something, we don’t want to become that person for someone we love and we don’t want to empty our life fuel into people who simply see it as “too much”… Your body and heart and mind can only hold onto so much energy and it is high time I learn to not give it away so freely to those who view it as a “too” and only give it to myself and those who appreciate it.
Kristen said it best yesterday, “… It’s sorta what I try to give in my relationships to the people I care about. I know my brain is set up like this so it’s what I can give. I never want anyone I truly care about to feel like they have to be anyone but themselves with me.”
Wise beyond her years that one is!
So what is something you have been told you are too much of? Is it someone you love that you are pushing too hard, or is it an outside voice who we simply need to learn to ignore?
Let’s read below about how this featured babe feels about the “too’s” in her life!
“Since I was a teenager- I’ve had body image issues, too much or too little of this or that. When I became a mother, I understood just how amazing a woman is. I decided to do this session for my ‘dirty thirty’ to celebrate this new found appreciation of my body. I was excited and super nervous from the time I booked the session to the time I walked out my little personal dressing room. Lindsay and Erin made me feel very comfortable and honestly like a bombshell – and hey I was not mad about that, it was my 30th birthday! During the reveal, all I kept thinking was wow and that’s me- the person that never liked her body, but I am loving it right now!! I can’t wait to hang these pictures in my house and teach my kids to “Love Yourself.” I thank Lindsay and Erin for making me SEE and really FEEL what I thought in my head, I am a woman and my body is straight up awesomeness.” ~ M.
Hair and Makeup by Erin Marie Aristry