I suffer from really bad anxiety.
There are days where I am standing still and minding my own business when out of no where my mind becomes riddled with situations that are out of my control and I freak the fuck out. My heart races, I get dizzy and even more scared.
Why am I telling you this?
Because my anxiety has left me with many visible scars…many.
One of the ways my anxiety presents itself is through picking at my skin. It is not something I can control or even notice that I am doing until someone points it out to me and by then I have created a hole in my skin and am bleeding. It is mortifying and something I have had to deal with my entire life, it is alot better now, but there are still times when the deadlines are creeping and the work is piling up that this anxiety still presents itself.
Until I started this business I used to hide my body, because I didn’t want people to see the tiny pink scars all over my body and judge me…but you know what, they are a part of me. Just like the stretch marks, just like my c-section scar, just like the burns on my arm from the time I burn myself making tacos in college.
They are my scars. They are part of me. Sometimes I like a smooth canvas and I hide them with makeup, sometimes I photoshop them out, and sometimes I rock them for the story they tell.
But the fact remains…they are MINE.
Read below how today’s #wcw Woman Crush Wednesday feels about her scars and then be sure to scroll all the way to the bottom to see this babe standing with her final exquisite art!
“By just looking at me you would think I was just a thin girl.
Growing up all my friends told me how tiny I was but it didn’t matter how thin or in shape everyone said I was, I was always so uncomfortable in my body. For many years I was embarrassed and too self conscious to feel comfortable in a bathing suit
When I was first born I had to have emergency surgery to make sure I was going to make it. I was rushed to a different hospital from my mom and had surgery my first day on earth. What a way to come into the world. For many years I looked down at the scar that surgery has given me and despised it. I have tried loosing weight gaining muscle anything to try to make the scar less noticeable. I had even gone as far as considering plastic surgery. Once I hit the plastic surgery point I realized it was time to learn to love my body and stop trying to change it, after all that scar shows that I came into the world a fighter.
For my 25th birthday I treated myself to the self love experience and not a day has passed that I am not thankful that I did. Yes I am still the girl with the scar but now I’m the girl with the scar who could careless about everyone else’s judgements. People are never going to stop judging you but you don’t have to let what they think effect how you feel about yourself. My scar may be there but it’s part of my fight and I have learned to love my body just the way it is.
I am so thankful for the girls at LRP, they made me feel beautiful and comfortable just as I am. That was something I had never felt in my whole life. Going into the shoot I was so scared for them to see my scar yet they never made me feel as if I was any different or as if I was not beautiful. LRP has changed how I feel about myself and changed my life. I am forever grateful for them making me see what I had never seen before.” ~Ms. S.
How absolutely adorable is this #LRPBoudieBeauty who came by this afternoon to pick up her art! Just the best reasction!
Hair and Makeup by Erin Marie Artistry